Playing Many Parts

Parenting Teenagers is Very Hard!

I think I have always known that parenting is hard, but it is the teenage years that are killing me.

I have a boy and a girl, and they have very different issues, but both hurt my heart today.

My daughter has just lost her first love. She is such a great person, smart, fun, cute, and lovable, but this boy has left her doubting her self worth and that makes me sad. I hate that we women often let the men in our lives have that power over us. As if we need their acceptance or that their opinions are the only ones that matter. I am trying to teach her to be independant and to think for herself and to march to the beat of her own drum. . .but she is a teenage girl. She likes boys.  I will have to think up some interesting ways to pump up her ego a bit.  Any ideas?

My son is a whole other person. I don’t understand him. He is very smart, and is a generally good athlete, but he can’t ever remember to bring his homework home, and therefore never does it and fails his classes. On top of that, he is late for classes and is now serving his thrird detention of the school year. . .as a freshman!! I don’t know what to do. We have punished him, taken away his gadgets, no activities with friends, nothing to do at home but sleep and eat and it doesn’t do any good. I am at a loss, and at this point, I am tired of crying myself to sleep.

My husband thinks this is typical parenting stress for those with teenagers. I would love to hear from anyone with teenagers. . .advice. . .or even just an “amen” we have that problem too would be very much appreciated.

How do you make it through the teenage years?

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  1. * angelawd says:

    You are so right – parenting teenagers is, I think, the hardest part of parenting. And we want so much to love them and protect them from pain and problems but we can’t. Your issues sound completely normal to me but it still hurts to see them go through it!

    I hate how society makes girls think that having a boy is the most important thing, yet all the chick flicks are about getting the guy. What else are they expected to focus on? I’ve found with my girls that the best way to plump up their egos is to get them involved in something where they can achieve. Whether it’s sports or activities or arts, if they can shine in other things, they focus less on boys and when they do have a broken heart, it doesn’t mean everything to them. They have accomplishments of their own to boost them up.

    While I don’t have any sons, I have heard many moms of teen sons say the same thing, especially if they are the second-born (not sure if yours is). One thing that has worked for my second-born child is rewards rather than punishments. She has trouble working on goals that are far away so we make little rewards along the way. For example, when she’s grounded, she can take time off her “sentence” for “good behavior”.

    All in all your kids sound completely normal. Even though it makes us sad to see it and have to administer consequences, we are actually in the great position of helping them grow up. You have the opportunity to help your daughter determine her true self-worth now, rather than when she’s forty. And you’re helping your son become responsible and detail-oriented before he loses jobs or property over it as an adult.

    Now, if I can just apply those thoughts to my own children…

    | Reply Posted 10 years, 3 months ago
  2. Thanks for the comments,encouragement and for stopping in! You mean. . .they may be normal and be functional adults?

    Great advice. .I will take it!


    | Reply Posted 10 years, 3 months ago
  3. * Karen Vogel says:

    Honey, come on over! No help at my place, but lots of empathy. I’ve got 6, from 16 down to 2….and my 14-year-old daughter is something else. We call her the dementor (if you haven’t read Harry Potter, you won’t get the joke).

    | Reply Posted 10 years, 3 months ago
  4. Thanks Karen. And boy do I feel bad for complaining about my 2, especially if one of yours is a dementor. I do get the referrence. . .Harry is our favorite character.

    | Reply Posted 10 years, 3 months ago
  5. * Amy says:

    Karen, I feel for you! The important thing to remember is that you can show your teens how much you love them and speak into their lives with encouraging words not matter their short comings. I would love to share a video I’ve watched with you by, John Tent, he talks about things his mom said to him when he was struggling in school. It might be insightful.

    I hope this helps you! Blessings!


    | Reply Posted 10 years, 3 months ago
  6. Amy,
    Thanks for the link, perfect timing, I did get the opportunity to encourage DS last night and he at least seemed to listen.

    Thanks for stopping in and encouraging me!


    | Reply Posted 10 years, 3 months ago

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